©2003 by Mae Ondracek
“So, it was all a lie?” Marie said as she backed away from the vase lying in the aisle. “You guys put it there just to get money out of me for something I didn’t do?”
“No ma’am.,” the manager said, hurrying to her side. “We are conducting an experiment to see the facial expressions of people who come upon the vase after hearing the crashing sound. We also have a small gift for you. Quick, let’s move to a different aisle. Here comes someone else.”
They hurried over a couple of aisles and soon heard a crash and a long drawn out, “Oh…my…God!”
A lady was standing near the vase, looking furtively from side to side. She kept yelling, “I didn’t do it! I didn’t do it!”
The manager hurried to her side and explained to her about the experiment they were conducting and started to hand her a gift. Her reaction wasn’t as calm as Marie’s had been. She began cussing and started to raise her purse as if to hit him and he said, “Careful, you might really break something. You shouldn’t swear, either, it isn’t ladylike.”
He ducked and her purse caught an antique Ming vase on a top shelf. Mr. Slone, the manager, tried to catch it, but was off balance because he had been ducking, and it crashed to the floor. The woman was five feet six inches tall and on the hefty side; she cried out, “Now see what you did?”
“Sorry, ma’am, you broke it and you will pay for it. We have a witness and your husband will be receiving a bill very soon for it.”
“Ha! You can’t do that because I’m not married and you don’t know who I am.”
“Sorry, Mrs. Worthingham, I do know who you are. You see,” he held up a billfold, “your billfold flew out as you swung your purse at me.”
She made a grab for the billfold, but Mr. Slone caught her arm, saying, “Uh, uh! You might break something else. Now, please, just walk to the front of the store so I can write down all the information I’ll need.”
A booming voice sounded, “Are you having trouble, Mr. Slone?”
Marie and the other lady turned and gasped. There stood a man, six-foot-six, broad shouldered, bald, and with a complexion of polished ebony. He looked like a prizefighter and Mrs. Worthingham became subdued in a hurry, “Okay! Okay! I’ll do it!”
Mr. Slone said, “Thanks, Herman. Just wait until I get the paperwork finished and Mrs. Worthingham will be leaving the store.”
Marie gulped and said, “You sure are big and impressive, Mr. Herman.”
A curt nod of his head was all the answer she received, but he was watching Mrs. Worthingham as Mr. Slone ushered her to the door and said, “Mr. Neil down the block, said you were in his store last week, broke a few things, and tried to leave without paying for them. Please do not return here, either.”
She turned and looked at Herman, so he raised his arms and flexed his muscles. She nodded her head and slowly disappeared around the corner.
“It does pay to be cautious, doesn’t it?” Mr. Slone asked. “After Mr. Neil called a meeting last week about Mrs. Worthingham, several other store owners reported her doing the same thing in their stores. Mr. Crab said she made a mess in his produce section every time she came in; squashing tomatoes, tearing the grape bags apart, thumbnail gouges in the apples, and other things. I dreaded the time she would come in here but knew it was bound to happen. I replaced all the very expensive items with fakes. The original of the vase she broke, would have cost $10,000.00 or more, but this one was only $250.00.”
Mr. Slone sat down in a chair, wiped his brow and said, “Now the sad part. We will have to meet with Mr. Worthingham and explain that his wife is barred from all our stores and suggest he get her to seek professional help.”
He was sadly shaking his head when another customer entered. He called out, “Good morning. I’ll be right with you. Please look around.”
Soon the manager and Marie heard a crash and a woman’s voice cried out, “Oh, dear! I hope that wasn’t very expensive. I am sure I didn’t touch it.”
“You didn’t, Miss,” Mr. Slone said and explained his experiment to her as he handed her a gift.
She said, “Thank you. So, it was all a hoax, a set-up? I am so relieved. My husband would have killed me if I broke something so expensive.”
Mr. Slone said, “I am happy to see you did not get angry. Please look around and call me if you need help.”
A man entered the store. Mr. Slone looked surprised and said, “Hello, Mr. Neil. Can I help you?”
“Yes,” he said, “we have a meeting with Mr. Worthingham in two hours. Will you be able to come?”
“Certainly,” Mr. Slone said, “anything to get this over with.”
“Mr. Worhtingham has agreed to have his wife see a psychologist after our meeting. He wants to have all the facts first. We will meet in my office. See you then.”
After Mr. Neil left, Mr. Slone said, “That was quick. We thought maybe Mr. Worthingham would balk at our idea but I guess he’s tired of paying for ruined and broken things. Thank you, ladies, for being so understanding about my little experiment. Please stop in again and I promise no more broken vases on the floor.”