Write a short story with a main character whose life is changed by a piece of gossip.
Shorty's
Predicament
©2005 by Mae Ondracek
Shorty thought he was a well-liked ‘pre-bred’
of a man but suddenly things changed.
Why wasn’t he getting any dates?
Why wouldn’t the girls go out with him? He asked himself these questions over and
over again.
Then, one day as he was
having lunch and sitting with his back to the door, someone sat in the booth
right next to his. He was just about to
get up when one of the girls said,
“Geeze, Marge, has Shorty Beemoth ever hit on you to go out with
him?”
Yep, Shorty Beemoth was his
name, so he had better just stay where he was and maybe he’d learn
something.
Marge said, “Oh yes. It’s been quite awhile ago, Mary, but
I’ll never forget that time he asked me to go to the Rooter Ball game
with him.”
Mary said, “You mean
he asked you to go to that game with him, too?
Why, that dirty……”
Marge said, “Oh, come
on Mary. You know he asked just about
everyone we know to go to that game with him.
In fact, he’s asked me and everyone I know of to go to that Ball
Park Dance in two weeks. I suppose he
has asked you, too?”
Mary was dumbfounded as she
replied, “Yes, he did. I told him
I’d see. Why, I wouldn’t go
out with him if he was the last man on earth.
He smells terrible, most of the time.
Don’t you think so, too, Marge?”
Marge gave a funny snort and
said, “You can say that again. I
told him flat out that I wouldn’t go to the dance with him and I knew no
one else would either. Let’s order
something delicious, shall we?”
“Oh yes, I’m
going to have a piece of their delicious apple pie with a big side of ice
cream,” Mary said and both girls began to laugh.
Just then the girl came to take their
order and they both said they’d have the apple pie with loads of ice
cream on the side and coffee. After she
left to place the order, Mary said, “I think I better make room for all
that ice cream. What do you think?” and both girls got up so fast that Shorty
hardly had time to put his head down so they wouldn’t see him.
After the bathroom door
shut, he got up quickly and hurriedly paid for his lunch. He was out of there like a gun shot and
hurried home. So, that is why the girls
never date him, he wondered. But how can
he smell terrible when he takes a shower every day. He reached for the phone and dialed Dr. Smith,
he just had to get to the bottom of this.
“Hello, Dr. Smith’s Office.
How can I help you?” the secretary said.
“Hello. This is Shorty Beemoth. I’d like to see the doctor as soon as
possible.”
“Well, let me
see. Dr. Smith has an opening at
“Thank you, I will,
at 3 today,” Shorty said and hung up the phone. Now we’ll see why those girls
don’t like me, and he got into the tub and took a shower. Then he got ready for the doctor appointment.
He was at the doctor office
at 10 to 3 and told the secretary that he’d just wait, so he sat down
with a magazine. He hadn’t looked
at four pages when the girl called him into the office, asking, “What can
we do for you today?”
Shorty said, “Well,
I’d like to ask the doctor about smells.”
The nurse looked at him
funny and said, “Smells?”
Shorty said, “Yes,
smells.”
The nurse quickly took his
pulse and temperature, then left the office.
Shorty looked around and started reading the posters that were in the
office. There was a soft rap on the
door, it opened and Dr. Smith walked in.
He said, “Good afternoon, Mr. Beemoth. What is your problem?”
Shorty said, Well, Doc, I
have a very strange habit that smells, and I don’t know what it is. Can you help me?”
Dr. Smith looked at him and
said, “You have a strange habit that smells? Can you tell me what it is?”
“No sir, I
can’t. But no one will go out with
me,” Shorty said. “I take a shower every day and still
nothing.”
The doctor laughed and said,
“Mr. Beemoth, I’m sorry for laughing but this is reticulates. How can one man smell and not be
liked?”
“I was at the Benge
this
The doctor said, “What
kind of soap do you use?”
Shorty looked puzzled but
said, “Dial. Why?”
“Well, I thought maybe
you used one of those exotic soaps that can leave a film on your skin and keep
the smell in, until someone comes near you.
Then it wafers out,” the Dr. said.
“No,” Shorty
said. “I only use Dial and they
still won’t come near me. How can
I fix this problem? The big dance is in
two weeks and I’ve asked just about everyone and some said
‘no’ and some said ‘I’ll see!”
The doctor said, “Do
you brush your teeth?”
“Sure,” Shorty
said, “That comes with taking a shower.”
“Well, let’s
check you over and see what we can figure out,” the Dr. said.
After a good going over, the
Dr. said, “Mr. Beemoth, I can’t find anything wrong. The best I can suggest is to use Dove soap
and a different toothpaste. See if that
helps any. Come back Monday afternoon
and we’ll see how it has helped you.
Take heart, it will get better.”
“Yes, but I
don’t like to sit alone every night, Doc.
I sure hope this helps.
Goodbye,” Shorty said.
Shorty hurried to the store
and bought Dove soap and a different toothpaste. Then he hurried home to make supper, his
favorite, Chili Mac with lots of garlic.
He stopped in mid-stride and thought ‘with lots of
garlic’. Maybe that is his
problem, to much garlic. He hurried home
and made chili mac without garlic and it sure didn’t taste good. Why did things have to be so complicated. After he did the dishes, he read the paper
and watched TV until the news was on. He
watched the news, uninterested, and finally turned it off and went to bed. He slept fitfully and finally awoke at
He took a shower with his
new soap, Dove, and was surprised at the smell of it. He ate breakfast, then brushed his
teeth. Well, this felt better, he
thought. Then he sat down in his
recliner to waste away two hours. Then
he’d go down town and talk with everyone he could. He just had to find out if this was going to
work.
He awoke with a start and
said, “My gosh, I’ve been asleep.
It’s
He changed clothes and
hurried down town where he went into the 5 & 10 Cents Store. He stopped just outside the doors and
thought, ‘well, I haven’t
been here since I don’t know when.
They don’t have a very big place to eat but I’ll bet it is
good.’ He went into the 5 & 10
Cents Store and went directly to the lunch counter. He sat down between a man and a woman who
were just about finished eating. He said
hello to both and they said hello but turned their heads away and dropped the
rest of their sandwich and left, coughing.
He looked after them and wondered if he had caused their leaving. He ordered a sandwich and coffee and watched
people that came to sit there to have coffee.
No one sat near him and he just couldn’t understand it. They started to sit next to him and then
moved away. What could be the
matter? Just then he seen Dr. Smith and
a woman enter the store and he watched them until they started to sit
down. The lady said, “Oh please,
Dave, Not here. Let’s go down to
the end.”
The Doctor said alright
until he seen it was Shorty sitting there all alone. He told the woman to go ahead and sit down,
he wanted to talk to me. He asked me
what the matter was, I was eating alone.
I couldn’t answer him because of the lump in my throat. “I’m sorry my idea didn’t
work,” Dr. Smith said. “Did
you use the Dove soap?”
“Yes I did,”
Shorty answered, “But I really must be smelling bad. No one wants to sit by me.”
“Well, I do believe
you better go back to Dial Soap. You be
sure to come in Monday afternoon and we’ll do more tests. This is terrible,” the doctor said as
he left.
Monday afternoon Shorty was
back in Dr. Smith’s office. He
didn’t know if he was doing the right thing or not. The nurse called him into the office, took
his pulse and temperature and said the doctor would be in shortly. Shorty put his head in his hands and would
have wept, but just then the doctor came in, “Hello, Mr. Beemoth. How are things today?” he asked.
“Terrible,”
Shorty said. “Why can’t I
get over this smell?”
“Well. We’ll
take a few tests and then see what we can do for you,” Dr. Smith told
him.
Dr. Smith had many tests to
do that afternoon and finally he said, “Now, all we have to do is wait
for the results. Some of them will be
back by Friday, so you can stop in for anything we might have then. I hope we have something by that time. I’ll see you then.”
Shorty left and hurried home. He
thought, almost a whole week of waiting.
He could hardly contain himself.
When Friday came, he hurried to Dr. Smith’s office. He could hardly sit still. Waiting for the doctor to come in was a big
chore. Finally Dr. Smith entered and
smiled, “Well, we might have found your problem. When a kid, do you remember sticking anything in your
nose?”
Shorty thought about this
for a little while, then said, “No I don’t, Doc. Is there something there that causes the
smelling?”
“I believe there might be. Look at this x-ray,” and he held one up
for Shorty to look at.
Shorty said, “But that
can’t be my x-ray. What can that
terrible thing be way up in the nose?”
“That,” said Dr.
Smith, “may be your problem. It
looks like a bean of some kind.
We’ll set you up for removal of that on Monday, okay? By then we should have the rest of the tests
back, too.”
“Well, I sure hope
that is the cause of it,” Shorty said.
“I’ll be here at what time Monday morning?”
“Well, if you’re
here by
“Anything to try to
get over this. I don’t remember
putting a bean in my nose when I was a kid but maybe I did. See you Monday at
It was a fitful weekend but
by Monday morning, he was ready to have the surgery and he was there before
Shorty had a hard time
talking, but he said, “Not to bad.”
“The Doctor will be in
to check on your nose real soon,”
The nurse said. “Just take
it easy and you’ll know the score real soon.”
Shorty noticed that his nose
hurt real bad but he supposed it was from removing the bean, it that is what it
was. So he closed his eyes and waited
for the doctor to come.
Pretty soon the doctor came
in and said the bandages had better stay there for a few days. Shorty had to have a cyst removed from his
nose and it was worse then he thought.
He said, “Well, we know you didn’t put a bean in you nose
when you were a kid, but how long that cyst has been there is another
question. It had the inside of your nostril
almost closed off. It was a good thing
we did the surgery this morning,” the doctor checked the bandages and
then said, “I think it best if you stayed in the hospital a couple of
days. That way we’ll be able to
keep watch of your surgery.”
“Okay, you’re
the Doc. What was it?” Shorty
asked.
“I don’t really
know. We sent it to the lab to have it
looked at. We’ll know
tomorrow,” The doctor said.
“Now you try to get some sleep and I’ll see you this
afternoon.”
But Shorty was already asleep
as the doctor walked out. When the
afternoon wore on, the doctor finally returned and asked him how he felt. He said he felt fine except his nose really
hurt. The doctor took the outside
bandage off and looked up his nose and
said, “Well, what do we have here?” and he pulled out a pair of
tweezers and quickly went into his nose and pulled something out. It looked like a worm and Shorty shivered,
thinking it was in his nose. The doctor
quickly put it in a covered jar and said he’d find out what it was, put
the bandage back on his nose and left.
Within an hour he was back and only said, “Hello, we have to look
at your nose again.”
He pulled out another long
worm and quickly deposited it in a jar.
He said, “Well, I’m sure glad we did the surgery. Whatever these worms are, we’ll find
out soon and then let you go home. I
don’t think we’ll give you any supper tonight until we find out
what these things are. You try to get
some sleep and we’ll check in with you in another two hours.”
In two hours they were back
and prodding his nose. They found three
more worms, half dead. The doctor said,
“If I could take out that inner cotton, we might be able to get all these
out. But we’ll be back in two more
hours.”
In two hours they were back
and said, “Sorry to awaken you, but we want to be sure no more
--------,” and the doctor stopped talking and quickly picked up three
dead worms from the pillow. Then taking
the bandage off his nose, he quickly put
five more in jars. The doctor said,
“Well, I’d say this has to be the end of them.”
“What are they,
Doctor?” Shorty asked.
“Well, I’m not
sure, but tomorrow we’ll know,” the doctor answered. “I better check you out in two more
hours to make sure no more have come out.
You get some sleep now.”
Shorty couldn’t
believe it; these things coming out of his nose.
It was unreal and finally he fell back asleep.
Soon the doctor was there
checking in his nose again and this time only took out one lifeless worm. He said, “Maybe we have all of them
now. Only one this time. We’ll be back in two hours.”
Shorty fell into a fitful
sleep, dreaming about worms all over himself.
He awoke just before the doctor came in.
“Oh, Doctor, I hope that is all of them,” he said.
Shorty tried to sleep, but
couldn’t. His nose itched and he
wanted to scratch it but knew he shouldn’t. He put his hand up to his nose and he could
feel it moving around. He put his light
on and soon the nurse came in, “What is the matter?” she asked.
“My nose,”
Shorty cried, “It’s all full of things trying to get out.”
The nurse looked and left
his room and called the doctor. He was
there as quickly as he could and went right to work. He took off the bandage and quickly put five
worms into jars. He said, “My
gosh, where are they all coming from?
They’ve got to stop, soon.”
Just then two more were
pulled out of Shortys’ nose and he fell asleep, exhausted. The doctor sat by his bedside and waited for
more to come out. The doctor was just
starting to fall asleep when he seen a movement on Shortys’ bed. More worms were falling out of his nose. He rang for the nurse to come help him and
they picked up eight more, all dead. My
gosh, Doctor, what are they?” she asked.
“I don’t
know,” he answered, “but in a few hours we should know,” and
he fell down in the chair, shaking his head.
“They are all dead. What
can it mean?” he said wearily.
“Look Doctor,”
another worm fell out of Shortys’ nose and was quickly deposited in a
jar. “Where can they be coming
from?”
“Boy, I don’t
know,” Was his answer.
“Thanks for your help, nurse.
I hope this is all.”
The nurse left
Shortys’ room and the doctor sat down in the chair to keep vigil. Soon the doctors eyes were closed and he
slept, not knowing if he seen worms or if he didn’t. Finally the nurse came in at
The doctor left the room
while the nurse stayed there. He
wasn’t gone long and he looked so weary that the nurse asked him if he
was alright. “Alright as I can be
with this going on,” he said.
“I just can’t figure it out.
I’ll stay here now, while you go out and wait for the lab man to
come back up. He should know what the
matter is real soon.”
The doctor sat down and
looked at Shorty, not really knowing what he should do. In a half hour there was a knock at the door
and the doctor said to come in. It was
the lab man with a piece of paper in his hand.
He said, “I thought you’d want to see this as quickly as
possible.”
The doctor took the paper
and read the report. He said,
“Well, that means we have them all, I hope. Thanks for your help with this,” and
the lab man left.
Shorty slowly opened his
eyes and said, “Hello, Doctor. How
is the worm business?”
The doctor said, “Well
Shorty, I believe we have the problem licked.
There haven’t been more worms for over five hours. That is good.
They were a rather weak strain from out West and I do believe we have
them all. I’ll bet you are glad,
aren’t you?”
“You bet, Doctor. My gosh, how could I have them and not know
it?” Shorty asked the doctor.
When you were out West, you
must of eaten something that had eggs in them and we just happened to take the
cyst out that had them in it,” the doctor said. “If everything is okay , we’ll
let you go home this afternoon and then you can come back in two days to let us take the packing out of your
nose. Although you better not blow that
side of your nose for awhile. I’ll
see you this afternoon, and he left.
The doctor was back in the
afternoon, saying he had slept like a log and wanted to know how Shorty
was. Shorty said he was doing good and
reported that no more worms were present.
So the doctor gave him a temporarily relief to go home and also some
liquid to put in his nose to keep the packing wet. Shorty was happy to be going home but he was
a little light headed. He figured it was
from all those worms being inside his head.
When he got home, he sat in
his recliner and really enjoyed being home again. The next day his nose started to itch and he
figured it was because of healing. He
looked in the mirror and seen his nose was moving. He grabbed his coat and hat and hurried to
the doctor. When he got in the room, he
started sneezing and blew out the packing in his nose, plus a whole slew of
those worms. When he was threw sneezing,
he wondered if he was through with the worms now. He looked in the pan he held in his hands and
thought, “This is terrible.
Won’t it ever stop?”
Just then the doctor came in
and started to admonish him for sneezing, when he seen all the worms in the
dish. He said, “My gosh man,
aren’t you ever going to be through with them?” and Shorty gave
another huge sneeze and a bunch more of worms came out. He was to worn out to say anything and the
doctor called for the nurse to come in with a wheelchair. They wheeled him to a bed and helped him in,
after giving another big sneeze. Shorty
soon sneezed out a lot of worms and fell back onto the bed. The nurse told him to lay on that side so all
the worms could work their way down. He
did when he sneezed again and out came a thing that looked like a nest. It wasn’t very big, but it sure could
hold all those little creatures. Shorty
lay back on the bed and heaved a sigh of relief, saying, “Boy, I sure
hope that is all,” and he dropped back onto the bed fast asleep.
The nurse took the pan out
of the room and put in a clean one. She
took the pan to the lab when the doctor told her too. The doctor got the report back in record time
and was in Shortys’ room in no time.
He was happy to report that it was all gone. They would take another X ray to prove it but
he was sure it was all gone. He asked
Shorty, “Do you want to go home now, or do you want to wait until
morning?”
Shorty said, “If
it’s possible, could I wait until morning? I’d feel better sleeping here
tonight.”
They took another X ray of
Shortys’ head and everything looked real good, “No more masses in
there, now,” the doctor said.
“Well, I’m sure
glad of that,” Shorty said.
“Maybe now I can get a date once in awhile.”
Both men laughed and the
doctor said, “Well, if you can’t you just let me know. I’ll fix you up in a hurry.”
He left the room and Shorty
turned over and went to sleep.