A funny thing happened on my way to the ______’

The Little Ball

©2004 by Mae Ondracek

“A funny thing happened on my way to the movies last night. You just won’t believe it, Mark.” Dale was so happy that he couldn’t believe it either.

“What do you mean, I won’t believe it, Dale?” Mark asked.

“Well, you know I only live three blocks from the movie theater, so I always walk. Well, last night we seen a Tarzan movie and Billy and I were walking home when a big UFO shone right above us,” Dale answered. “We were almost to Billy’s house, so he hurried up and ran home. Maybe he didn’t even see it, I don’t know,” Dale was unsure of himself.

“Oh, yeah, Dale, you’re a great kidder,” Mark answered.

“Oh, yeah! Well, that thing just made a tiny noise and up I went, right into the space ship,” Dale answered.

Mark laughed so hard, that his sides were hurting and he asked Dale, “What did they do to you, Man? Ask you some questions and then let you go?” Mark laughed like he wouldn’t stop.

Dale started to walk away but Mark quit laughing and told him to come back. Dale went back to where Mark was sitting and he sat down beside him. Dale asked, “Do you really want to know what they did?”

Mark said, “You know I do, old buddy. Come on, tell me.”

“Well,” Dale said, “After they beamed me up, there were just three of those little men, or women, if you prefer. Well, they all looked at one another and then at me and said something. I raised my hands like we do when we don’t understand something, and one of the guys stepped forward and formed words, ‘Your not old enough?’ he asked me and I said “No, I’m just in high school,” Dale answered, just like he was telling a tall tale.

“The man who stepped forward said, ‘Come with us,’ and he led the way into a huge lab. I looked like I knew trouble was coming when they started talking with the guy again. He laughed and said, ‘No, we will give him a bit to remember us by,’ Dale reached into his pocket and drew out a ball.

Mark said, “It’s only a metal ball. Why would they give you that?”

Dale said, “Because it has properties. It looks like a solid metal ball, doesn’t it? Well, you just watch,” and Dale said something over the ball and it started to glow.

Mark sat flabbergasted and then he said, under his breath, “Is that ball really glowing?”

“Yes,” said Dale, “watch,” and he spike some strange words and the ball tied Mark’s hands and feet together.

Mark yelled, “Hey, I believe you, untie me, now!”

Dale said a few words to the stone and it untied him. Mark said, “Well, I sure wouldn’t believe it. All you did was say something to that ball and I was tied up real tight.”

Dale said, “Yes, this is a very good ball. You wouldn’t believe it, but it won’t do anything for you.”

Mark looked real proud and said, “I’ll bet it will to do something for me. Let me hold it and we’ll see.”

Dale handed the ball to Mark and he said some sort of foolishness to it, but it just lay in his hand. Mark asked, “How come it won’t understand me?”

Dale took the ball back and asked the ball why it wouldn’t do what Mark wanted it to. It flamed red and said something and Dale laughed. He told Mark it didn’t like the looks of him and they both laughed. He asked Mark to please not tell anyone about the ball and Mark said, “Boy, I’m sure not that dumb. Why, they’ll never believe me if I did tell them,” Mark cried and hurried away.

Dale told the ball he was going to take it home and leave it in his dresser where his socks were, and the ball glowed red and said something.

Dale hurried home and asked, “Wow! Mom, what are you making that smells so good?”

She said, “Just your favorite dish. Can’t you guess?”

Dale stood a few seconds and then he said, “I know what it is, curried potatoes and roast pork. You are the greatest. I’m going up and get cleaned up. I won’t be long,” and he hurried upstairs where he hid the ball in his sock drawer and hurried to change.

When he got back downstairs, he asked his mother why she made curried potatoes today. She said, “Gosh, Dale, I don’t know why. I was looking through my recipe book and when I saw curried potatoes, I just couldn’t look any further. I really don’t know why it happened.”

Dale set the table and he and his mother sat down to eat. Dale wasn’t sure if he should tell his mother about the UFO or not, but he guessed not yet. He didn’t like to be deceiving to his mother, but if she knew it, he knew she’d tell all her friends, and he didn’t want that to happen, not yet, anyways. Finally he had to stop eating and said, “Boy, that was just great. Those potatoes sure turned out good. Let’s get the dishes done, so I can do my homework before I have to go to bed. I have oodles of homework.”

“Sure, Dale, but you don’t have to help with dishes tonight,” she said. “Why don’t you just run along and I’ll do the dishes after while. I want a cup of tea, first.”

“You sure, Mom? You know I always am glad to help,” Dale said.

“I know, Dale, but you better get at your homework. Maybe something will happen tomorrow and I’ll get a job,” his mother said.

Dale kissed her cheek and gave her a big hug and then went to his room to do his homework. He was almost done with his math and then that old history. He wished he could remember it all, but some things just faded from memory and history was one of them.

There was a light rapping on his door and he went to see who it was. “Hey, Mom. What do you want?” He stopped talking because he had seen she was crying.

“Can I come in for a little while, Dale?” she asked.

“Why, of course you can. What is wrong, Mom?” Dale asked.

“Well, I don’t know how to put this to you, Dale, but I went to the doctor today and learned I have cancer of the stomach.”

“Oh, oh,” Dale started to say, but she hushed him up and continued, “He, the doctor, said if everything goes real good, I should have another six months to live. So, you see, Dale, it will be after graduation, and no one will have to know. But I couldn’t keep it from you because you are a big boy and strong,” his mother said.

“Oh, Mom,” Dale cried, and held her in his arms and let her cry. Then he said, “Mom, I’ll get a job and help pay for your treatments, just as soon as I graduate.”

“I know you will, Dale. Just don’t let anything happen in the next two months,” she said, “we have to keep this as our little secret.”

Dale got up and went to his sock drawer and pulled out the ball. He walked back to his mother and said, “This ball will make everything okay, Mom, you’ll see.”

She laughed and asked what a metal ball was going to do for them? Dale held the ball and passed his right hand over it and suddenly it flamed red and answered. Dale said, “See, Mom, last night on the way coming home from the movies, this UFO just beamed me up and when they saw I was just a boy, they gave me this ball. They said I could ask it anything and they would answer,” Dale continued. “First you have to believe it and it happens, Mom, I know it does.”

Dale’s mother looked seriously at the metal ball and said Dale should ask it how to get rid of the cancer she has. So, Dale ran his hand over the ball and said some funny words. Then he listened to what the ball said. “Well, you won’t die. The ball says so. You are to go to Mickey’s Auto Insurance and you’ll get a job there. Just don’t tell them about the cancer. Please!” Dale was so relieved that he just sat down on the bed with his head in his hands.

“Now am I supposed to believe all this or are you putting me on? I know that ball glowed red, but my gosh, how can a metal ball glow red?” his mother asked.

“We must believe it all, Mom, please. I don’t know how it does it, but it does. Just believe it,” Dale answered.

Okay, I feel better for letting you know, anyway. Now you better get back to your homework and take care of that little ball,” his mother said as she left the room.

“Oh, little ball, I sure hope everything goes alright. Now I better get down to history,” Dale said as he returned to his studies.

Within half an hour he was done with his homework and went downstairs. He was surprised to see his mother doing exercises and asked her what she thought she was doing. She said, “I don’t really know, but when I came down here, I just naturally started to do these exercises. They are making my stomach feel better and I will go down to Mickey’s Auto Insurance and ask about that job tomorrow,” and she gave him a kiss on the forehead.

Then she said, “Come on, let’s get some ice cream with dollops of goo all over it.”

“Hey, that sounds like a great idea,” Dale said as off they went into the kitchen.

Dale got out the dishes and his mother got out the ice cream and just loads of toppings and set them on the table. “Now, this looks good,” Dale said as he rubbed his hands together, and they set about making their ice cream sundaes.

They sat down together at the table and Dale asked, “Now, Mom, will you please tell me how long it’s been that you’ve known about having cancer?”

“Oh, hush, Dale, and eat this up. It’s so good,” she said.

“No Mom, I have to know,” Dale said.

“All right, Dale, I went in to the doctor about two weeks ago, and he told me then. Now let’s just eat this ice cream,” she said.

Dale sat there fiddling with his ice cream and his mother started to laugh, “What you building, son?” she asked.

He looked startled and took a big bite, “I’m not building anything,” he said.

Then he put his head down on the table and rested. His mother didn’t know what to make of it, so she got up and went to him, saying, and “Whatever is the matter, Dale?”

He shook his head because the ice cream had given him a headache. He knew that to big a mouthful always did that to him. So he said, “Just water, Mom, just water,” and she got him a glassful

He drank some and soon he was feeling better, no more headache, so he asked, “Mom, you will be alright, won’t you? The metal ball says so.”

“You bet I will, Dale. You and your metal ball know just what to do,” she said.

They finished eating in silence and then Dale helped his mother put things away as he said, “That just hit the spot. Now I suppose I better get to bed, otherwise I won’t be able to make it to school tomorrow,” and he kissed his mother goodnight.

“Goodnight, Dale. Have a good time tomorrow at school and I’m sure hoping I get hired at Mickey’s Auto Insurance tomorrow,” she said.

He went to bed with a troubled mind, so he had to get up and take out the metal ball. He did his thing with the ball and asked if his mother would be alright. The metal ball glowed red, and said she would get the job tomorrow and be alright, not to worry.

He felt relieved and put the ball back, then crawled under the covers again. He was so cold, but he didn’t know what the matter was.

He awoke with a start the next morning, slipped his pants on and hurried downstairs to see how his mother was. She was sleeping peacefully, so he went back upstairs and got ready for school. He wished his mother really would get that job at Mickey’s. It would do her good to get out of the house, instead of thinking about his dad all the time. He had been gone almost a year now and his mother still hadn’t forgotten about him.

When he went downstairs, his mother was in the bathroom and he was sure she was throwing up. He listened at the door and sure enough, she was throwing up, so he knocked on the door and she said, “Oh, please, just go to school and leave me alone, Dale. I’ll be alright. Please.”

He told her goodbye and said he’d eat at school. Then he left. He ran all the way to school and into Mrs. Marth’s Arithmetic Class. He was breathing hard but he managed to hand her the homework for today and ask her what was for tomorrow. He said he had to hurry home and take care of his mother. He thanked her and left, then went to his history class and did the same for Mr. Miller, who said he was very sorry Dale’s mother was ill and there wouldn’t be any homework, just read the next chapter. Dale thanked him and took off, running for home. He got home just in time, as his mother lay between the kitchen and bedroom. He knelt beside her and tried to bring her around but he could not. He grabbed the phone and dialed 911 emergency, telling them to hurry to his house. Then he flew up the stairs to get his metal ball and back down again to wait beside his mother.

The paramedics arrived and took her to the hospital with Dale following closely behind in their car. The EMT’s were just unloading his mother as he rounded the corner and parked. He walked into the emergency room with them.

They put her in an examining room and told Dale to wait outside while they ran some tests on her. Soon they came out and said everything was going to be all right. She had just taken some sleeping pills and they pumped he stomach and she would be fine. He could go in and sit beside her but not to awaken her. Dale nodded and went to her room and sat down.

He looked so lost, even his schoolmates wouldn’t recognize him. He took out the metal ball and did his thing and asked it why his mother wasn’t better. They said they guaranteed that she didn’t have cancer and would live a long time. She began moving her head and moaning, so he told the ball he had to go. He put it in his pocket and hurried to his mothers’ side. He took one hand and held it, then said, “How are you feeling, Mom?”

She looked at him and said, “Oh, Dale. You should be in school, not here with me. Where am I, anyway?”

Dale looked at his mother and told her she was in the hospital room. “But how on earth did I get here?” she asked.

“I forgot something and had to come back home. I found you lying between the kitchen and your bedroom. Oh, Mom, why did you do this when the metal ball said you were going to be all right?”

“Oh, you and your ole metal ball. How can it make this cancer of mine go away?” she said.

Dale said, “But Mom, you don’t have cancer. It’s just a cyst and it will be as good as new.”

His mother said, “Now Dale, please go back to school and don’t bother me anymore.”

A nurse came in and said, “Well, I don’t know how you did it, Mrs. Cathoune, but you have no cancer. Just a cyst growing which Dr. Smiliar will take out tomorrow.”

Dale’s mother said, “But how can that be so? I’ve seen Dr. Smiliar for three weeks already and he said the cancer was very large.”

“Well, I’m sorry, Mrs. Cathoune,” the nurse said, “but when the doctor received the results of your blood work and everything this morning, you were clean. Don’t ask me how it happened, but it did. I’m so glad,” and she left the room.

Dale looked like he didn’t believe anything was happening but his mother had tears in her eyes and said, “Oh, Dale, can you believe this? I don’t have cancer and all the doctor did was prescribe those pills for three weeks.”

“Oh, Mom, I couldn’t be happier and I bet neither can these guys. Excuse me while I tell them,” Dale was overjoyed that she didn’t have cancer and took the little ball from his pocket and did his little thing.

After it lit up, Dale began his story about his mother not having cancer, just a cyst which the doctor would remove in the morning. “Thanks guys, you are great,” he said and he was very happy.

“Let me see that little ball, Dale?” his mother asked.

Dale handed it to her and she was so thrilled, that she kissed it and said, “Now, Dale, you will always keep this little ball in a special place. It is very important, you know?”

His mother said, “No one is ever going to steal your little ball, Dale. Not the way we are going to fix it up. You’ll see,” and she kissed him on the forehead.

The doctor came in and said, “Well, good afternoon, Mrs. Cathoune. Here we have been treating you for cancer for three weeks and you don’t have cancer. It’s gone, just plain gone, but there is a cyst right here,” and he pointed to her stomach, “and we’ll take that out in the morning. I don’t understand how this happened, but I am so glad it has worked out this way. Your boy needs a mother for a long time, yet.”

“You’re sure there is no cancer, doctor? Nothing but a cyst?” Mrs. Cathoune said.

“That’s right, Mrs. Cathoune. Now you enjoy your supper with your son and we’ll take care of that cyst tomorrow,” the doctor said. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, doctor,” they both answered at once, then laughed. Dale gave his mother a big hug and said, “You see, Mom, I have to trust in something and you better believe it, I sure trust in my little metal ball.”

“You can say that again, Dale. I believe you, that’s for sure,” his mother said.