Mel's Christmas Report

"Why do the 12 days of Christmas baffle everyone?"

Approx 1,829 words

"But, dadeeeeee," Melissa pleaded, "I have to get this report finished before we go back to school following the Christmas break! Please, help me, won't you?"

Walter Perkins did not want to help. He enjoyed having his ten year old daughter staying with him over the Christmas break, and was already put-off by the fact that his job as a prosecuting attorney for the City of San Diego would take a significant amount of time away from his daughter during the brief stay before she returned to her mother in Colorado.

"Why I'd love to help you, Mel!" he smiled. "That's what Dad's are for. Tell me what the subject is for your report, and we'll try and find some references on the Internet. Would that help?"

"Awesome, dad. I knew I could count on you! Mrs. MacPherson wants us to explain why everyone is so baffled about 'The Twelve Days of Christmas.'"

"Oh," Walter said, with great disappointment. This was venturing into a subject he didn't feel appropriate for a young girl. Perhaps he should pen a letter to the school board in Boulder?

"Let's go into my office and I'll show you how to search the Internet, Mel." He took her small hand in his and they crossed the living room, went down the hall, and into his home office. Walter pulled the over-stuffed leather chair up to his workstation and booted the computer for his daughter, then moved aside so she could be seated. Walter leaned over and called up the Google search engine and entered '12 days of christmas'. There was but a brief pause as the search page quickly downloaded over his DSL line.

"Wow, dad!" Melissa said, suitably impressed. "I didn't know we could find so much information! Now, I just click on these links to see what has turned up?"

"Sure, Pun'kin. When you find something you want to save for reference to write your report, just click the little picture of the printer and the page will be printed for you."

"Yeah, I know how to do that, dad. I use the Internet all the time at home; it's just not as fast as yours."

"Okay, Mel, while you're working, I'll get dinner started. I'm gonna fire up the barbeque and we'll charcoal some steaks. How does that sound?"

"Wonderful, dad! I'll bet there's at least two feet of snow at home, mom would be jealous if she knew we were picnicking outdoors." Mel gave him a huge grin and he planted a kiss on his daughter's forehead before heading to the patio.

Walter put a generous supply of mesquite charcoal into the grill and turned on the gas igniter. He paused for a few moments while smoking a cigarette and waiting for the coals to catch, then he turned off the gas and headed to the kitchen to fix a tossed salad and brown some "Tater Tots" from the freezer. Since her toddler days, long before the divorce, Mel had enjoyed both fresh salads and "Tater Tots." He was sure she would feel tickled that he had not forgotten.

Thirty minutes later, Walter was sitting on the patio enjoying a glass of rose when his daughter appeared. "I think I have just what I need, dad." She pushed a print out beneath his nose.

Accustomed as he was to scanning hundreds of pages while preparing for a case, Walter gave the three pages a quick scan. "Very informative, Mel. According to the author, The Twelve Days of Christmas is not simply a children's song, but is actually a secret code relating to the Catechism. A Partridge in a Pear Tree refers to the one true God. Two Turtle Doves represent the old and the new testaments. And so on until we get to Ten Lords a'leaping, Eleven Pipers piping, and Twelve Drummers, the Ten Commandments, the Eleven Disciples, and the Twelve points of doctrine of the Apostle's creed."

"Don't you think its cool how they put all that into a song, because Catholics were hated in England at the time?" Melissa asked him.

"Cool? I don't think hate or prejudice is cool anywhere or anytime, Melissa, and I hope you won't either. In Colonial America, the fledgling colonies had laws against the celebration of Christmas. The puritans and others were very strong minded Christians, you know?

"In the end, however, the Baptists, Presbyterians, Episcopalians, Lutherans, and all the other denominations began to worry over a lack of attendance while otherwise Christian parishioners were gaily celebrating the holidays with those heathen Catholics during the dismal time of winter, a time when there certainly was a need for merry making. Eventually, all denominations began to celebrate the observance of Christmas; it was more a popularity contest than any religious observance."

"Daddy, that's an awful thing to say! You make it sound like Christmas was created merely as an advertising gimmick to sell toys and such!"

Walter didn't like where this conversation was headed, but he could not help but speak the truth, as he knew it, untainted by any popular superstition.

"In point of fact, Pun'kin, the celebration of Christmas was created as an advertising ploy. Prior to AD 300, there was no officially recognized celebration of the Nativity. In fact, the date of the alleged Nativity, forgive my lawyer-speak, had been assigned to at least three different dates of the Egyptian calendar.

"There was, however, a pagan celebration of the winter solstice, December 21 which was very vexing to the Catholic Church. In AD 310, the church officially declared December 25th to be the date of the Nativity. The twelve days between December 25 and January 6 are known as 'the Epiphany,' when the wise men eventually arrived on the scene."

"That's not right, dad, all the Christmas cards show the three wise men in the stable when Jesus was born."

"It looks good, doesn't it? The point I want you to understand, is that you cannot quote from this single source if you want your report to be accurate. When you quote from one source, it's called plagiarism. But if you quote from half a dozen sources, it's called research. I just happen to know this web page was posted by a Catholic priest, to explain the hidden meanings behind the children's song. It was later withdrawn because the facts could neither be proven nor refuted. In other words, you agree based on a matter of faith, or you disagree because your faith does not accept such a belief. Judaism does not yet accept the birth of a Messiah; does that mean they are wrong? There are seven principle religions in the world, and not all of them accept the Christmas story. Our laws and our culture prohibit the establishment of a government sponsored religion, in order that the right of all persons to worship according to their own beliefs cannot be made illegal. Millions of people have been persecuted, even killed, because they prayed in the wrong church. You certainly don't approve of that, do you?"

"Daddy, things like that don't really happen," Mel asserted as fact.

"Oh, no? Then the Hebrews were not kept as slaves and forced to work until they died while building the pyramids? Have you read about the Mormon Wars during the 1800's? Certainly you've heard about the Halocaust in Nazi Germany?"

"You're acting lawyerly, daddy, trying to divert me from the real subject. What if the others are wrong, shouldn't they be corrected, for their own good?"

"Who decides, Pun'kin? Certainly not some Bible-thumper from the sticks with no education but a strong belief in his faith? Not even the greatest philosophers in the world have reached agreement on that subject. That's why we have seven major religions, each with many different branches. That's why we have many different holy books, none of which can be accepted as legal evidence in any court of law, and none of which can be verified by rigorous scientific analysis. There is not even conclusive evidence to prove the existence of a supreme being, no matter what religion you believe in."

"That's awful, dad, of course God exists. He created the Heaven's and Earth. You can't stand there on solid ground and say God does not exist!" Melissa seemed very confused, as indeed, the best minds of many ages have been confused.

"Your assumption is based upon false logic, Mel. I am not questioning the existence of a planet we call Earth. I cannot, for here I stand, proving that the Earth does indeed exist. That does not prove a God created the Earth. Other religions have different concepts about creation. There is no evidence why we should accept one over the other, except as a matter of personal belief."

"Don't go getting grownup on me, daddy. Everyone knows that God created everything, even if you don't want to accept it!"

"It wasn't too long ago everyone knew the Earth was flat, Mel. Tell me, is the world flat?"

"Daddy! You're being silly!"

"It wasn't so very long ago, everyone knew the sun revolved around the Earth, which was the center of the universe, Mel. When celestial observations put doubt into that theory, great thinkers tried to explain the observable facts. Men like Aristarchus, Copernicus, and Galileo proved the Earth revolved around the sun, but were forbidden to teach their knowledge upon pain of excommunication and the loss of their eternal souls!"

"Then what do you believe, daddy? What is the truth?"

"Good questions, Hunny Bear, and I hope you'll keep asking them until you have found answers which satisfy you. My answers may not be your answers, but they satisfy me and provide a foundation for my existence and my beliefs. I do not require others to believe as I do, and I hope they will extend the same courtesy to me."

"Okay, daddy, I'll keep searching, but what do I do about my report for Mrs. MacPherson?"

"Just be honest in your research, Mel. Look at both sides of the discussion and cite references to support your position. If your report happens to support Mrs. MacPherson's beliefs, you'll get a good grade. If you disagree with her, you'll not get as good a grade, but it's not her job to turn you into a missionary to convert everyone you meet to the One True Faith."

"And which one is that, daddy?"

"I've been asking that question for nearly half a century, Melissa, and I don't have an answer. When those learned professionals with a string of degrees following their name can reach a consensus and agree, maybe they'll tell me. Until then, I'll just keep an open mind. You'll never find any answers if your mind is closed to the facts of a question, even if you don't like the answers."

"Hmmm, that sounds awful grownup to me, dad."

"When you have learned that, Mel, you'll be on your way to growing up also."