HC-66, Box 11014
Pahrump, NV 89048
© 1999 by William Lopez
The Blue and Gray Football
Game
By
W. E. Lopez
"Children,"
Mrs. Webber called as she hung up the phone.
"That was your father calling.
He is getting off work early tonight and want's us to meet him for
dinner. Does anyone care for
pizza?"
"Oh,
boy! Pizza!" eight year old
Matthew exclaimed. He dropped his GI
Joe doll in the middle of the floor where he had been fighting a mock battle
with his Civil War Soldiers and ran to the closet to fetch his coat.
"I
want Mickey D, Momma!" six year old Molly pleaded. "I want a Happy Meal!" Her little brown eyes began to cloud up as
though a cloud burst was about to occur.
"Next
time, hunny bunny. Daddy has already
left the office and if we go to Mickey D's we'll miss him because he'll be at
the Pizza Hut."
"Miss
daddee?" she questioned. "No,
no, no. Pizza for me too!"
"That's
good, hunny," Mrs. Webber said as she fetched a sweater for her
daughter. "I'll tell your father
that you want to go to Mickey D's the next time. All right?"
"Right!"
Molly said and stuck her tongue out at Matthew. "See?" she teased.
"S'all
right with me," Matthew said.
"A Big Mac tastes just as good as pizza when you're
hungry." He finished zipping up
his jacket and ran from the room he shared with his sister, through the living
room and out the front door. "I get
the front seat!" he called as he ran.
"Mommee,"
Molly pouted. "I wanna sit in
front. Make Bubba sit in the back seat,
please?"
Mrs.
Webber pulled Molly's little pink hand through the sleeve and buttoned three
buttons on the front of the sweater.
"Well, Sissy, Matthew was first this time. I guess you'll just have to be faster next
time. Fair is fair, you know."
"Okay,
next time I'm gonna be faster," she said holding her mother's hand as they
left the house. Mrs. Webber used her
key to make sure the dead bolt on the front door was firmly locked and she helped
Molly into the car.
"Fasten
your seat belt, Sissy. Are you buckled
in, Bubba?"
"Yes,
momma. All set to go. I want sausage and pepperoni and olives on
the pizza, Mom. Can we, can we,
hunh?"
"We'll
let your father order, Matthew. He always
knows what's best for growing children."
She started the engine and checked behind her as she backed the car out
of the driveway.
Back
in the children's room a gruff voice shouted.
"All right you lunk heads.
Up and at'em. No more of these
frilly tea parties. We're gonna have us
a real game now!" GI Joe swaggered
down the middle of the room. Get up
there you blue soldiers! We're gonna
whip the tar out of them Johnny Rebs!
We're gonna play some football, ya' hear me?"
Slowly
the union soldiers began to assemble around GI Joe. "Football," they asked? "What's that? Never
heard of it before."
"Get
over here you Reb soldiers while I explain the rules of this game to you."
General
Robert E. Lee rode over on a large gray horse. "I say, Sergeant, is it necessary for general officer's to
play in this game also?"
GI
Joe saluted the general. "No,
sir! But you would make a fine coach
for your team, then you would still be in command!"
"Fine,
Sergeant. I'm glad to hear that you Yanks
can still abide by what one considers to be proper conduct. All right you son's of Dixie," the
general shouted to the gray uniformed soldiers, "pay close attention now
and we'll push those Yanks clear back across the Mason-Dixon line!" The gray soldiers crowded in while GI Joe
explained rules and strategy to all the players.
While
the two teams were paying attention, a whole cheering section of toys began clamboring
out of the toy box. There were the
Beanie Babies, eight of them, and Hopalong Horsey. There were the Batman and Robin dolls and Fire Man Frank. From the other side of the room where Molly
kept her toys came Malibu Barbie and Ken driving in a red sports car. There was a Blue Unicorn with a magnificent
horn and sky blue skin prancing along the floor while his snow white mane and
tail fluttered in the breeze. All the
toys were gathering around to see what this new game would be like.
"Yoo-hoo,"
a voice called from atop Molly's bed.
It was the Scarlet O'Hara doll with long dark hair curling down to her
shoulders and a bulging hoop skirt that covered her ankles. "Soldier boy," she called out in a
sweet voice. "Could you help me
down from here? I'd dearly love to join
in with all you good people, but I'm afraid it is a frightfully long way for me
to jump down there. I might sprain an
ankle or something." She fanned
herself with a gaily decorated paper fan and coyly covered the lower half of
her face as her eyelashes fluttered at GI Joe.
"Allow
me, madam," General Lee said as he pranced his gray horse over to the
bed. "It would be most improper of
a gentleman to allow harm to come to one of the fairest treasures of this
land." He gave her a sweeping
acknowledgement with his hat as he bowed low over his horse, then pranced over
beside the bed where she could easily step down to the horse's back and from
there to the floor.
The
last spectator to arrive from Molly's collection of toys was Sammy the
Snail. He had a broad smile upon his
face, wide glasses set just above his nose, and a jaunty little red hat. His cheerful face had a wide smile from ear
to ear. "Hi ya, fellas!" he
said to the rest of the toys. "I
wanna play too! Can I? Hunh? Can I?"
"You'd
better stay on the side lines," GI Joe told him. "You can't run, and you can't jump, and you can't very
easily catch the ball, Sammy, so I don't think we can use you in this
game."
"Aww,
gee, fellas, I want to play too! I want
to be part of the action."
"Get
out of here, Sammy, before I step on you like the insect you are!" GI Joe
said to him harshly.
"A
snail is not an insect, you ignorant brute!" Sammy shouted right
back. "A snail is a mollusk,
sometimes called a gastropod. Don't you
know anything?"
GI
Joe was not about to let this little fellow talk back to him like that. He took two long steps toward Sammy who
backed up with fright. "Get out of
here, you four-eyed wimp! Go sit on the
sidelines like I told you!"
Sammy
reluctantly crawled away and found a place to sit where several of the other
toys had gathered to watch the game.
"Don't
take it so hard," the Blue Unicorn said.
"They won't let me play either but I know it's because I'm just too
fast and too beautiful for them."
"Yeah,
right," Beanie Baby Ally the Alligator said. "They won't let me play either cause they think I'm too
short, but I can run real fast just the same."
"Me
too," said Claude the Crab.
"They said my pincers might collapse the ball and wouldn't let me
play." He clacked his claws over
his head like a Spanish dancer's castanets.
Click, click, click, they went.
"They
said I was too clumsy," said Happy the Hippo. "So I just laughed at them because I don't want to play their
silly game. You can sit here with us,
Sammy, and we'll have a good time anyway."
Sammy
squeezed in between Fire Man Frank and the Blue Unicorn. "Gee, thanks friends. I guess we can still have a good time
watching."
Meanwhile
GI Joe and the blue and gray soldiers had marked out the playing field and were
lining up for the kickoff. General Lee
rode his gray horse and shouted encouragement to his men. Sclarlett O'Hara cheered the Rebel team
also.
"Go
get 'em boys, sis-boom-bah! Knock 'em down
Rebels and hit 'em in the jaw!"
Malibu
Barbie had changed into a blue sweater with a short white skirt and white
tennis shoes. She carried two large
cotton balls for pom-poms, one of white the other of blue.
"Sis-boom-bah?"
she asked of Scarlett. "Is that the
best you can do?"
"Well,
fiddle-dee-dee," Scarlett said. "Football
hasn't yet been invented where I come from and we southern ladies have not had
much practice at this sort of thing!"
"Fiddle-dee-dee
right back at you, little lady," Barbie said. "I'll show you how this is done!"
Barbie
stepped in front of the watching crowd and began prancing and kicking while she
shouted encouragement to the Blue team.
She cheered, "Push 'em back, push 'em back, waaaaaayyyyy back! Push 'em back, push 'em back, waaaaaayyyyyy
back! Go, Blue, GO!" then did a double
cartwheel and ended by waving her pom-poms in the air while the crowd cheered.
"Well,
I do declare," the Scarlett doll said.
"I have simply never seen such disgusting behavior in my entire
life!" she fluttered her fan in front of her face once more.
About
that time the quarterback for the Blue team faded back for a long sky ball to
GI Joe who was running deep into Rebel territory. The ball was thrown and the two teams began running in that
direction hoping to tackle GI Joe before he could catch it and make a
goal. Four of the Rebels converged on
him and knocked him down just as he was about to catch the ball. It bounced from his hands and careened off
Matthew's toy chest then hit the dresser and knocked over a lamp.
As
the lamp fell toward the floor there was a sudden snap and a shower of sparks
when the plug was yanked from the socket just before the lamp crashed and broke
into a dozen pieces. A tiny spark
landed amidst the nearby curtains and suddenly the window was surrounded by
flames.
"Help!
Help! Fire!" Scarlett shouted.
"You
there, Fire Man Frank," Batman said in a deep voice. "Bring your fire truck and put out the
flames, quickly now!"
"Sorry,
Caped Crusader. Matthew lost one of the
wheels off my ladder truck and it won't go anywhere now!"
"Save
us! Save us!" shouted Mr. and Mrs.
Potato head as they ran around in panic.
"We're gonna be baked for certain.
Even worse, we could be french fried!"
"No
cause for alarm," General Lee said commandingly. "It's not a large fire yet, we all have time to leave by the
front door if we remain calm and file out in an orderly fashion." No sooner had he said this than the blue and
gray soldiers and all the rest of the toys ran to the front door only to find
that it was locked! They were trapped
in the house and there was no way to get out!
"Oh
woe is me," Scarlett O'Hara said.
"Another home in flames!
I'll be ruined again."
"Don't
fret, little miss," Batman said. I
can lasso the door knob with my Batrope and climb up and unlock the
door." He made a lariat with his
rope and tossed it high into the air, but it fell heart-breakingly short before
it reached the doorknob.
"Hurry,
Batman," said Hopalong Horsey.
"Perhaps if you were seated on my back you would be high enough for
the rope to reach!" Batman jumped
astride Hopalong and tried again but the rope was still too short! No matter how hard he tried it wouldn't
reach!
"Batman,"
Ken said. "You've got to get us out
of here, and quick! Malibu Barbie has a
hair appointment only thirty minutes from now!"
"Sorry,
Ken, it looks like it's gonna be curtains for us. I'm sorry, there isn't much more I can do." He hung his head in sorrow, saddened to have
let his friends down when they were depending on him.
"Well,
gee, Batman," Barbie said.
"Can't you tie your rope and the Boy Wonder's rope together and
then you'll have a rope long enough to reach?"
"I
just wish I could, Barbie. It's a good idea,
but Robin is not here. He had to go to
the Bat-Room and I'm afraid he accidentally locked himself in."
Meanwhile,
no one had seen Sammy the Snail as he slowly inched his way from the playing field
over to the front door. He put his single
foot on the door and slowly began climbing straight up. He was half way up to the lock before any
one even saw him.
"Look!"
said Barbie. "It's Sammy
Snail! He's almost up to the lock. He's gonna save us! Hooray for Sammy!" she said and waved
her pom-poms in the air again.
Sammy
kept climbing and climbing. He was terribly
frightened at being so high above the floor, but he knew he was the only hope they
had if they were going to be saved. He
certainly didn't want to end up as escargot, but more importantly all his
friends needed him now. He had to help
them!
"Go,
Sammy, Go!" the Beanie Babies cheered.
"You
can do it soldier!" GI Joe shouted.
"You'll
be a hero, son, and I'll present you a medal personally," General Lee
said.
Sammy
climbed and climbed. He found it was best
if he didn't look down, then he wasn't nearly so frightened. He finally reached the dead bolt lock and
gave it a turn. It was stuck! It wouldn't budge!
"Hurry,
Sammy! Hurry!" Malibu Barbie
called.
Sammy
tried again, harder this time. Maybe GI
Joe was right, maybe he was just too small!
He tried and tried to turn the bolt but he didn't have any shoulders so
it was very hard for him to put all his weight into it. Once again he grasped the knob and heaved
with all his might! He heard a rasping
sound and the knob turned just a fraction!
He heaved again and this time the knob turned so fast Sammy almost lost
his grip and fell to the floor.
"Hooray
for Sammy!" he heard the toys calling.
Batman got the door open and all the toys, the Beanie Babies and the
Blue Unicorn scrambled out the front door. Sammy slowly started down the door. He was hurrying as fast as he could but a snail's pace is not
very fast. He began to fear that this
would be the end when Fire Man Frank appeared out of no where. He had tied a rope from Hopalong Horsey to
the fire engine and both of them had managed to drag it over near the
door. Then he and Hopalong had unfolded
a huge net and were shouting for Sammy to jump into it.
"Jump,
Sammy! Jump!" they cried.
The
Boy Wonder appeared beside the truck and said, "Fortunately I was small
enough to slip under the door of the Bat-Room.
I can help you with this net also."
Sammy
looked at how far down it was and was very much afraid. But if he stayed where he was he would be
cooked for sure! He decided to take the
risk and closed his eyes and leaped from the door!
He
was falling, falling, falling!
"Yeooooooooooowwwwww!" he cried. Then he landed in the net and felt Fire Man Frank, Robin the Boy
Wonder and Hopalong Horsey cushioning his fall.
"Hurry,
Sammy! Let me put you up on Hopalong's
back because we must get out of here quick," Fire Man Frank said. He wrapped his arms around Sammy's brown shell
and grunted as he lifted him up onto Hopalong.
When Sammy was securely seated Hopalong raced from the house with Fire
Man Frank and the Boy Wonder right behind him.
"Hooray!"
all the toys shouted. "Hooray for
Sammy Snail!" And they all cheered
and applauded as Sammy slid down from Hopalong's back.
"That's
not the way you reward a hero," Barbie said. She removed Sammy's red hat and glasses and gave him a big kiss
on the cheek. Sammy blushed until his
cheeks were nearly as red as the hat he had been wearing.
"Hooray!"
the toys all shouted. Then GI Joe
stepped forward. "Hey, little
buddy. I guess I was wrong and I'm sorry. I'd like to apologize, if you'll let
me." GI Joe offered his hand to
Sammy. "We'd all like to have you
on our team now, Sammy! In fact, I
think the position you could play best would be to coach the team. Right fellows?" he asked and turned to
them.
"Riiiiiiggghhhhhtttttt!"
they all cheered, loud and long. And
Sammy knew that he had found a place he would be welcome at last, because
everyone is special if you just take the time to look hard enough.