HC-66,
Box 11014
© 1999 by William Lopez
Crystal,
NV 89048
By
W. E. Lopez
I never thought
killing a dragon would be an easy task, but I didn’t expect finding a dragon
would be so hard.
The
last three nights I’d slept on the ground with little more than my cloak for
comfort. Fortunately the weather had
been fair. Still, a night in the open
can never be pleasant for one raised in a castle and accustomed to valets and
servants to tend to trivial and onerous tasks.
Day
before yesterday was the last time I’d eaten.
My mouth really began to water as I walked Stormrider down the
trail and the smell of roasting fowl was carried to me upon the wind. Someone had halted just off the trail and I
shouted to him, “Ho! Good fellow! Would you share a bite of your bird with
me?”
The
lad swung around brandishing a cudgel as if ready to beat my brains out. Then I saw it was not a lad, but a lass, near
my own age of fourteen years. “And why
should I share a bird fair snared and cooked by my own hand?” she asked with an
imperious tone in her voice and a stamp of her foot. “Begone with you! Take
that great brute of a horse and be off to find your own game!” She still held her cudgel at the ready and I
had no doubt that she would take a certain pleasure in giving my head a swift
whack.
“Because
I am your king, James of Wiltenshire, and in this land all the game in the
forests is the property of the Crown.
But I would not deny you a meal when you have already cleaned and
roasted a fowl. I ask only that you
share a morsel with your sovereign.
T’would be but a tiny boon that I ask.”
She
tilted her head to one side while looking me up and down. “You look fairly young to be a king,” she
said, “and I’ve never heard of royalty going about without a retinue.” Nevertheless she lowered her stick and bade
me sit. “Why, sire,” she asked with the
proper tone of respect one uses when addressing royalty, “do you lead your
mount instead of riding?” She offered
the spitted bird to me and I cut a morsel with my dagger.
“The
road is long. I must save my horse’s
strength for battle with a dragon.” I
couldn’t tell her that upon rising this morning I could find no rock, nor
fallen log against which to stand Stormrider. He is a rather large horse and since I had set upon my quest to
engage a dragon in single combat I had neither squire nor groom to assist me in
mounting.
“Oh,
so you’re hunting a dragon? Is your kingdom
so poor that you must steal diamonds from the poor creatures?”
“Diamonds?”
I asked. “What’s this of diamonds?”
“Why,
everyone knows that dragons like to snack on lumps of coal. Without it they wouldn’t be able to belch
great gouts of flame as they do. When
they eat too much, they lay a nice fat diamond, as easy as a hen would lay an
egg. Or so they say. Don’t you have tutors to teach you such
things?”
“Of course,
milady! I have tutors by the bushel
full I sometimes think. But they feel
it is most proper for a king to learn of mathematics, geography, history, art,
economics, and social graces. I’ve
never heard one discourse upon the subject of dragons.”
“Tis a pity,” she
opined. “For if you knew more of the
great beasts, perhaps you would feel less inclined to slay one, and they are
getting fewer in number with each generation.”
“In truth, milady, it
is not a task of my choosing. I fear
that one could be seriously injured jousting with one of the beasts, and I’ve
no desire to see injury done to a dragon any more than to myself. No, it is the legacy of my late father that
I must vanquish a dragon before I may take my rightful place as king. Until then, the Wizard Morgrave rules as
regent.”
She gnawed a bone then
cast it into her tiny fire. “And what
if you should be killed in this sport, milord?
Who, then, would be king?”
In truth, I had never
considered this. “I suppose Morgrave
would continue as regent until my sister is of an age. There are no other heirs. Our mother died in a fall from a horse when
I was very young.
“But I shan’t be
killed,” I told her excitedly. For I
alone knew that I had an advantage. “Morgrave
has given me a secret potion which will make me invisible to the dragon. Then I may approach unseen and slay him with
an enchanted arrow from my bow.” I
showed her the small vial of potion, which Morgrave had given me.
Before I could gather
my wits, she quickly took it from my hand.
Pulling the stopper she gave a whiff of the potion and made a face. Then she poured but one drop upon a flat rock
where it fizzed and smoked.
“Milord, if you drink
this potion, I’m sure it would make you invisible to all within the kingdom,
permanently! Methinks this sorcerer is
more in need of vanquishing than any dragon.
For if you were killed, it surely wouldn’t be long until something
unpleasant happened to your sister, and then who would remain to challenge this
wizard?”
“You counsel wisely,
milady. Nevertheless, I must first slay
a dragon before I may take my place as king.”
We continued to talk
as we finished the fowl. She called
herself Faye, and was a foundling running from an orphanage to make her way in
the world.
“Milady Faye, I admire
your counsel as well as your spirit with a cudgel and your talent over the
fire. That was the finest meal I have
eaten in several days.” I felt no need
to tell her that it had been my only meal in that space of time, for it had
been an excellent bird. “If you would
consent to join me in my quest, I’m sure a place could be found for you in my
court.”
She paused not a
second and replied, “I’m well enough off by myself, I think. After all, it was not my belly that was
rumbling along the path. And what if
this dragon should toast you to a cinder?
Then I shall have wasted my time and delayed my travel to the city, or
perhaps a sea port, where I shall certainly find opportunity for advancement.”
“If, whatever dragon
we encounter should toast me to a cinder, then you shall be none the worse off
for you shall have Stormrider to speed you on your journey. But I am not casting dice, lass. I do what I must for the good of the
realm. If I fall, it will not be for
lack of trying. If you fear the odds,
then I shall continue on my own.”
“I’m not fearful,
milord. Neither am I incautious. I’ll strike a bargain with you. If you’ll furnish me with a sword, for I
have none, then I will protect your blind side. If ill should befall you when you encounter this dragon, then the
horse will be mine.” As it happened, I
had a sturdy short-sword hung at my side from a sash over my shoulder. In my travels I had been continually vexed
as it slapped against my thigh with every step I took. Being more experienced and better trained in
the use of the bow I carried in my right hand, the gift of a sword would be a
small loss to me. Besides, I still had
my dagger.
“Done, milady! It is a bargain.” When we had shook hands to seal our compact, I made a stirrup of
my hands and set her astride Stormrider. “But, sire, how can I ride when my king walks?” she protested.
“Milady, not even a
king would ride when his princess must walk.
Especially not a king.”
And so we went down
the trail, I with my bow in hand, a quiver of arrows across my back, and Lady
Faye with my short-sword slung from Stormrider’s pommel. Faye said she had heard of a valley two days
to the east where a dragon was rumored to live. The two days were heavy with mist and we heard frightening
bellows and cries as we proceeded with our march.
Each evening I
selected a place for us to bivouac, and while Faye gathered firewood I took my
bow into the woods in search of a stag or fowl, or at the very least, a
hare. Each time I returned Faye had a
small fire going and upon each side lay a pallet of fresh cut fir branches
which proved to be far more satisfactory than the hard ground I had been
sleeping upon. Alas, I never did sight
a stag, but the first evening we supped on roast opossum and the second a brace
of hares. In spite of the horrific noises
that beset us, the pleasant company and fine food made for pleasant traveling,
even if we both missed a few hours sleep as we took turns tending our fire.
At last we came to the
valley, and the bellowing of the dragon was indeed fearsome. I don’t need to tell you that my knees were
weak, a secret I hoped I kept from Lady Faye.
Presently Stormrider, perhaps scenting the dragon, refused to go
further. We were very near the dragon’s
lair, so we tethered him to a small tree and advanced cautiously, side by side.
The dragon lived in a
natural hollow of rocks, almost a cave of sorts. His raging no longer seemed so fearsome, and I soon found
why. He was no larger than a shepherd’s
hut, but the formation of rocks surrounding him served as an amphitheater,
trumpeting his cries throughout the valley with great magnification. Indeed, this forlorn dragon was
weeping. Great, bucket-sized, tears
streamed over the heavy green scales of his long snout.
“Ahh, there you are,
my would-be king,” he said to me. I was
so startled to hear him speak I retreated several paces.
“Have no fear, for I
have been waiting for you at least a dozen centuries, though I sometimes lose
count.”
It took me a moment to
regain my wits. One doesn’t encounter a
dragon weeping in the woods everyday.
“Why do you cry, Noble Dragon?” I asked.
“Because I am the
loneliest of all creatures, sire. For
eons men have hunted my kind, seeking diamonds and slaying my kin when none
were found. I’m the last dragon in the
kingdom. I have been waiting for you to
fulfill my destiny.”
“How did you know Lady
Faye and I would be seeking you, sir?”
“We dragons are
all-wise and all-knowing, sire. I have
known since I was but a kit that this day would come. I could foretell the misfortune that would befall your father,
and that the scoundrel Morgrave would send you to me. But fear not! I am weary
in my loneliness. I shall not fight
you. I shall not frighten you with even
a flicker of my flaming breath. I ask
only that you be swift and merciful, like a true king.”
This can be very
disconcerting to a young fellow. I had
come trembling with fear to slay a dragon, only to find the dragon would not
fight. In truth, I’d never heard a tale
in which a hero could not take pleasure in killing a dragon and rejoice thereafter
at his victory.
I turned to my
princess. “Milady Faye, what say
you? I have no thirst for killing this
honorable beast.”
“Milord King. Is not your father’s legacy that you should vanquish
a dragon before you can be the true king?”
“Yes, of course. I explained that to you.”
“Then surely milord
knows that vanquish is a word which can have many meanings. In the first sense, it naturally means to
slay an enemy. But in another sense, it
can mean to best an opponent in some sport, or perhaps with a riddle."
“But, surely you can’t
be suggesting that I challenge this great dragon to a feat of strength? That would be laughable in the outcome,
judging by his size. And a riddle would
never do. You heard him say that
dragons are all-wise and all-knowing?”
“Milord, if you would
be king, then it is for you to find a way.
Use your head for more maintaining your ears at their proper distance.”
Of all the
impudence! The lass urged me to a test
of wits! Is not that why kings have
advisors, and scholars at court? No one
expects a king to know everything! Why,
I had never even heard about dragons and their diamonds until this maiden had
mentioned them. Even a king in training
has far too many things on his mind to concern himself with fire breathing
dragons.
Wait! I think I stumbled upon the answer.
“Sir Dragon,” I
inquired, “is it truly your wish that I slay you with my bow? Wouldn’t your destiny be fulfilled just as
well if I should end your loneliness?”
The dragon pondered
this riddle a moment, then answered, “You have a plan?”
“Of course I do. First, I must accomplish my goal, which is
to vanquish a dragon in single combat.
Therefore, Sir Dragon, I’ll wager that I can hold my breath longer than
you can. Do you agree?”
“Well, certainly. What can a day, or a week mean to me who has
lived untold centuries? But, won’t your
lady get a little bored waiting for the outcome of our contest?”
Faye must have
glimpsed what I had in mind for she answered right back, taunting the
dragon. “Concern yourself not with my
welfare, Sir Dragon!” She stamped her
foot, which I had learned is her habit when she is desirous of emphasizing her
speech. “If you’re ready, on your
mark! Get set! GO!”
At which point both
the dragon and I took a last deep breath and prepared to hold it until our eyes
popped out. I sincerely hoped that my
hunch would prove correct, for when the dragon inhaled deeply all the saplings
nearby fluttered their branches. I had
no doubt that he could hold his breath for a week, so great was his lung
capacity.
But it wasn’t long at
all before my adversary let out with a huge sneeze that startled even Stormrider
who was tethered as much as an arrows flight away from us. And it was a good thing for us that the
dragon had directed his sneeze far to the left of Faye and myself, for it was
accompanied by a blast of flame which gushed further than I could have shot an
arrow with my bow.
“My goodness!” the
dragon said apologetically. “I’ve been
so accustomed to speaking and breathing normally for so many centuries, I never
realized that my internal arrangements would make me sneeze if I tried to hold
my breath. Fair enough, good king, I’ll
grant that you have vanquished me in this contest. Now, what about me?”
“If you’ll just lower
your shoulder so that I may climb up and talk, I think you’ll agree that I have
found a solution to your problem too.”
The dragon did
so. As I said, he was small, as dragons
go, still I was very high off the ground as I sat upon his shoulders just
behind his immense neck.
When my train arrived
at the capitol, the gates were stoutly barred against us and the walls lined
with archers and pikemen bearing halberds.
I imagine we made a truly fearful sight, my dragon and I. Lady Faye galloped ahead on Stormrider,
waving her sword and shouting, “Make way!
‘Way for the king! Make way!”
My dragon would pause
every once in awhile and rear up on his two pair of hind quarters, pawing the
air with his forelegs while weaving his head left and right, spewing smoke and
flame. This effect was only for show,
as we had no intention of harming anyone.
Morgrave appeared atop
the battlements, surprised to see me but all sweetness and light, just the
same. “Milord king! Happy we are that you are safe at home,” he
said. His voice dripped sweetness as
honey from a spoon. “But what of this
fearsome beast you ride? You were
supposed to slay a dragon, not fetch him home with you!”
“Not so!” I shouted at
the sorcerer. “It was my father’s wish
that I must vanquish a dragon. I
challenged this noble creature to a contest and bested him. That means that I can truly assume my role
as king, and you are no longer welcome in my realm!”
Whereupon my dragon
said, “In other words, hit the road, Jack!”
He punctuated his command with a smallish gout of flame, which didn’t
quite singe Morgrave’s beard as he stood upon the wall, but made him leap back
just the same.
Morgrave was furious,
as I expected. But the people were with
me. Shouting and cheering arose from
the crowd. The gates were opened and my
little troupe rode into the city. I
ordered feasting and merriment for a week.
The week was a happy
one. Much to his good fortune, Morgrave
had disappeared. I feel confident that
the coming years of my reign will go down in history as a period of peace,
prosperity, and happiness within my kingdom.
The Lady Faye has become my princess, indeed, and we look forward to a
long and prosperous rule.
After all, I have
appointed a new chief adviser to my court.
One who is all-wise and all-knowing.
And, when he is not busy in court, little children laugh with glee as
they ride through the streets upon the back of a very friendly dragon who may
someday wish for a little loneliness again.
But who could be happier than a dragon with dozens of children to play
with? And where you have a happy
dragon, you’re bound to find diamonds.
Or so they say.