Editor’s Note: Authors write because they must; to fill a need for expression of humor, poetry, or a social message. The following does not express the philosophy of the Writers’ Guild, nor any member of the Guild. It is intended purely as entertainment and was written expressly as an entry for a “bad poetry” contest. We hope that it will be equally humorous to lumberjacks, teachers, lawyers, tree huggers, CPA’s, students and housewives, to name a few. Felonius has asked that we extend his profound apologies to the late Theodore Geisel (Dr. Seuss).

SPOTTED OWL SOUP

By

MoneeQ and Felonius

Spotted Owls in the tree,

Count them, count them, one, two, three!

Spotted Owls in the air,

Shoot them, shoot them, if you dare!

Them Greenpeacers might surely care,

Spotted Owls are tonight’s fare.

Spotted Owls make good soup,

Good for loggers who after long day – pooped!

Them Greenpeacers can’t sail forests in their sloop,

Can’t stop me from having my Spotted Owl soup!

Pluck the feathers, strip the dots,

Stir a soup without spots!

Owls, owls in the pots,

Tastes like chicken more than nots!

Not much meat on Spotted Owl bones.

“Not much meat!” said Lumberjack Jones.

“Little meat, little bones, little bird!”

Something floating in the Spotted Owl soup,

Little bird turd?

Lumberjack Jones in red plaid shirt,

Finds a bird turd, throws in dirt!

Lumberjack Jones with great big axe,

Sends government man official fax!

He’s slurping owl soup from a spoon,

While he whistles a merry tune!

Lumberjack Jones climbs Spotted Owl tree,

What does Lumberjack Jones see?

A Spotted Owl nest full of eggs, he notes with glee!

Breakfast tomorrow, Spotted Owl eggs over easy!

One egg, two egg, three egg, four,

No more Spotted Owls, NO MORE!